Pooja Misrra is this season's Bigg Boss favourite. After cast members calling her an 'evil soul' and an 'opportunist', she's been close to eviction, but the audience loves her. Or at least they love to hate her. Either way, she stays on. One can only guess that Misrra has a smartphone, most likely an iPhone, which she isn't taking full advantage of. If she hasn't already smashed it on a wall, here are five apps Pooja Misrra can benefit from on her iPhone.
To chill the f*** out
Misrra's temper is very erratic, this is well known. But since we love to see her flare up, this might be an app more suited for her enemies. Everytime she starts increasing her decibels, all they have to do is grab her phone, launch this app and play any of the soothing sounds it comes with. One of two things might happen, she might actually calm down. Or she might go after all the originators of the sounds with a knife, even if they're at a beach. Misrra will stab them all. The dangerous thing is that there is one sound of birds chirping in the rain. If you see a pool of blood with some coloured feathers around it, you'll know what's happened.
2. Finger Draw $1.99 (approx Rs.99)
For her creative juices
One fine day, Pooja Misrra was found painting in the Bigg Boss house. One detail I missed in that previous sentence was she was found painting a t-shirt with lipstick and kaajal. Since she obviously has all this creative energy around her, she might appreciate Finger Draw. With different brush types, colours and an eraser tool, Misrra's creative juices will flow; and some of her housemates' clothes might be spared. She can even use a saved picture as a template, so if there's something she's feeling particularly angry with, she just needs to paint over their face with devil horns and a moustache.
3. Oprah Mobile $0.99 (approx Rs. 49)
Can Oprah rescue her?
There are only two people in the world who can help Misrra where your regular Swami (Agnivesh) fails: Batman and Oprah. And since one of those two people aren't real, Oprah is the way to go. And since Oprah doesn't have a a fantastic car she can fly around in, the Oprah mobile app is her version of the Bat Mobile. Oprah Mobile features the highlights of Oprah's show in a mobile format. It doesn't matter that the show has ended, Misrra has much reality checking she can gain from the app. Who knows, since Oprah doesn't have a show any more, maybe she can be the next foreign import to the Bigg Boss house (move over Sunny Leone!).
4. Yoga+ FREE
For the bathroom
After a fight with Sky, Pooja Misrra just couldn't bear the burden of her own psychosis anymore and retreated to the bathroom. To do yoga. Well, more accurately, she said she did a pranayam in the loo. You know, as if nothing is wrong with that. Now, I personally don't know the size of the Bigg Boss house loo, but given that the Bigg Boss house is basically a mansion that isn't in Mumbai, the loo is probably spacious enough to fit a few more of Misrra's attempts to calm her savage beast. And since it just wouldn't be humane to bring a yoga teacher to the house, an app is the way to go!
5. Hypnosis Customizable Pack $0.99 (approx Rs.49)
Pooja Misrra thinks she is the way she is because people are hypnotizing her, turning her innocent soul into a violent one. Now, since there are no de-hypnosis apps, she's just going to have to hypnotize herself to not be hypnotizable by anyone else. By the laws of science, her manhandled brains should be fine again. Sky, especially should appreciate this, he will no longer have to wake up to her whispering in his ear and she will finally be able to do her pranayams out in the open (spoiler alert: she actually did whisper things in his ear while he was asleep, he woke up, they fought about it and she ran away to do pranayam in the loo).
Spare us, Pooja Misrra.