Remember life ten years ago? Minimal high speed internet, lots of spending time with actual friends and no mobile apps. Your local superhero, be it Batman, Mr. Incredible, or even Catwoman before the movie ruined her, still seems to live in those days somehow. Seriously, how much more incredible would Mr. Incredible's life be if someone just bought him a smartphone and he got some incredible apps which made his incredible life simpler albeit, more incredible!
Here are a few of my favourite superheroes and an app that they each would benefit from greatly, whether real or made up.
Don't bite his head off, he's got an app for that
Wolverine's made of some pretty powerful stuff. He's got speedy recovery, adamantium in his bones and freaking claws coming out of his pounders. He, however, can be destroyed. If someone decapitates him. So the rumour goes. He only really dies if his head is far away from his body. So much in fashion of existing app, “Find My iPhone”, Wolverine could quite benefit from not just a “Find My Head” but a “Locate My Head Via GPS and Connect With The Adamantium in My Bones To Make My Muscles Go To My Head”. I mean, there's got to be a 30 second rule after the head is cut off for sow back on time right?
Is it a bird? A plane? No, it's Kryptonite
Oh Kryptonite. You've gotten boring. Seriously, if you're writing a Superman movie and you want to hinder Superman somehow, the most obvious thing to do would be to have him mistakenly land in a pile of Kryptonite (the real test of imagination is how you get the Kryptonite from Krypton to Earth). I'm sure Superman himself is insulted with the redundancy. However, since you're writing a Superman movie, you're most likely an idolizing fan and you have to pay tribute to the Kryptonite factor. The coolest thing to do would be to give Superman an augmented reality app for his smartphone that can detect Kryptonite, you know, from the app's ability to recognize chemical compositions of everything! I would pay good money to hear Superman go, “Ooo zinc, zinc, carbon, oo diamond, wait, Kryptonite? Skip that spot! Thanks, Google Molecule!”.
Where my girlfriend at?
The Hulk, much like Superman, has his Achilles' Heel (or Kryptonite for you post-modernists). He has rage. Mad amounts of rage. And it causes him to charge through his cities, shirt ripping off a la Salman Khan and basically become the dictionary definition of 'ballistic'. While he tries mostly to use his superpowers for good, he does end up being a little destructive, shoving the odd car or building along the way when someone kidnaps his girly-o. Now what's a car owner of a Hulk-In-A-Hurry-Destroyed-Car to do? He'd be screwed! The Hulk doesn't stop to swap insurance information. What he needs is an app which connects augmented reality to his email. He does need to run with his phone out, or at least, a phone strapped to each arm, which gets information from the innocent objects he's destroyed, finding out its owner and their contact information and sending them a quick apology email with insurance information. Yes, there's issues of privacy violation but come on, wouldn't you let your privacy go for a superhero to do his job a little better?
What if she loses her plane?
Wonder Woman has more than superhuman strength and the power of flight. All of that and more and she STILL has an invisible plane which she summons with her thoughts! The girl can't catch a break! The plane however only turns invisible when its rider wishes it to and otherwise can also just turn transparent. Here's my question, what if someone steals the plane and reprograms it to obey them? How does Wonder Woman get her plane back? What she needs is an app that helps her, through GPS and AR, find her plane. Granted, they *could* mess with that programming but Wonder Woman would've already found her plane by the time they got to it.
The Fantastic Four
Everyone needs a little Bluetooth
Let's 'stretch' our imaginations a bit. Who's going to protect Reed when Sue's in the spa and there's a bunch of bullets coming at him? What does Ben do if he wants some roast chicken and he's out of matches? The four member superhero team could really benefit from some Bluetooth heavy or even EDGE/3G heavy apps. In either BBM, Whatsapp or Bump style, the Fantastic Four members need smartphones with Fantastic Four specific apps where Sue can send Reed a force field via Bluetooth, or Johnny Storm can send Ben a spark over GPRS. Agreed this means we have phones with which you can “send your superpower”, or a physical aspect of your being through. Remember the whole craze where you point your phone to your car, and the friend you're talking to just presses a button to unlock your car? I'm sure Android can take that to the next level for superheroes! These days with the stresses of life and availability of torrents, it's just difficult to get four people in the same space when required. The Beatles would need their own Fantastic Four app if not for Autotune!
So there you have it. Who's your superhero and what mobile app would they benefit from? Let us know in the comments section below.
Publish date: February 25, 2011 1:07 pm| Modified date: December 18, 2013 7:22 pm