If the woman you loved got dragged into the very depths of hell by Lucifer himself you would probably sit in some corner crying like a little bitch. Now Dante on the other hand is so badass he defeats Death AKA the Grim Reaper, takes his scythe and dives into the darkest recesses of hell to save his beloved Beatrice. Yeah, that’s how he rolls.__STARTQUOTE__A lot of dudes go through hell while in a relationship and Dante does too, quite literally.__ENDQUOTE__This is the basic premise of developer Visceral games’ last action title, Dante’s Inferno. Based on a poem written by some famous dude called Dante Alighieri back in the day, Dante’s Inferno takes players through the nine circles of hell as they fight through all of hell’s minions and then some more to rescue the women they love (a lot of dudes go through hell while in a relationship and Dante does too, quite literally). You’d think that after going through so much for her, she would show some kind of appreciation but every time you see her she’s whining about how you forsook her and so on. So much for gratitude!

Dante while badass to a certain extent is a pretty emo person himself so I can see how he’d attract someone like Beatrice. And then you have Lucifer who like an adolescent teenager seems obsessed by women’s private parts. You’d think the Dark lord of the Underworld would have his share of the fairer sex but apparently he doesn’t.

I’m not a big fan of the game’s plot but I have to bestow some serious respect onto the level designers. The game looks twisted as hell (you know I had to) and every level and its inhabitants are sick, perverted derivations of certain sins. So in Lust you’ll come across grotesque women who attack you with their private parts in a not so pleasant way while in Gluttony you’ll face obese monstrosities whose sole aim in life is to devour you and shower you with some of the brown stuff. And then there’s a boss who – I kid you not – showers undead babies out of her breasts. There’s some real twisted stuff in there that’s brought to life by splendid visuals and grand set pieces.

Publish date: February 24, 2010 9:58 am| Modified date: December 18, 2013 6:06 pm

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